Mental Health

8 Self-Sabotaging Behaviours You Need To Kick In Order To Be Happy

If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.

Coco Chanel

We are all searching for ways to get the most from our lives. We are the generation of mindfulness, self-care and #positivevibes. Yet every one of us is guilty of self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours: here are 8 that you need to kick in order to be happy.

1. Stop caring about everything.

Your head space is precious and a limited resource. Our lives are so busy and our minds never stop ticking. You cannot allow yourself to care about everything. So many of our worries are things that don’t need to be worried about. Prioritise. Work out what matters the most. Only care about the things that you need or want to give time to and let everything else drift away.

2. Stop dwelling on the past.

“What if…” “If only…” We are all guilty of dwelling on the past and allowing our minds to drift away from the present. You would not be human if you didn’t have regrets. That’s life. But the past cannot be changed. Do not let thoughts of what could or should have been ruin your present state of mind. Instead, see each experience as a lesson and use it to influence your future actions for the better.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Theodore Roosevelt once said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Have you ever asked yourself how many minutes a day you spend flicking through Instagram, comparing your real life to the lives that others want to portray? It’s not reality. People only share what they want you to see. Whilst there is always going to be somebody better off than you, there is always someone worse off too. Nobody is perfect and no good can come from comparing yourself to others. Spend more time focusing on you.

4. Stop focusing on the negatives.

Try not to spend so much time thinking about everything that you’re unhappy with and instead find things to be positive and grateful for. It is often easier to see the bad things in our lives and not take time to appreciate the good. Stop focusing on the things you don’t want to do and start planning for how to achieve the things you do want. Every day may not be good, but there is certainly something good in every day.

5. Stop worrying about what people think.

If you don’t kick this habit, it can really take a hold of you. Don’t become consumed by impressing other people, especially people that don’t matter. The people that really do matter in life are those that love you for who you are and it is what they think, and what you think of yourself that matters the most. You only get one life so you have to make decisions for you. Put yourself first. If people don’t like you for who you are, so what. It’s their problem. You no longer have the head space to worry about it.

6. Stop burying your head in the sand.

It is easy to think that if you ignore a problem, it will go away. Sadly this is not usually the case. Burying your head in the sand is never a good idea; it allows problems to worsen and grow. This in turn, has a more negative impact on our minds. Accept the reality and work out what needs to be done. Don’t bury your feelings either; this is toxic.

7. Stop waiting for opportunities to find you.

If you really want something – get it! Plan. Strategise. Stop waiting for other people to open doors for you. Success requires determination and hard work. If you’re going to waste time expecting opportunities to find you, then you are never going to be truly happy and content with your life. You need to stop dreaming and start doing.

8. Stop being afraid of your own thoughts.

Negative thoughts plague us all from time to time. It’s natural. But the more that you battle with your thoughts, the more time and head space you give to them. We cannot always control the things we think about, but we can allow negative thoughts to pass. Do not be afraid of your own mind. Try not to overthink. Trust yourself and be happy.

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