Where to begin!
I’m writing this today because after months of avoidance, I finally plucked up the courage to stand on the scales this morning and weigh myself for the first time this year.
I felt a bit sick when I realised I’d piled on a few pounds without even noticing at all.
We’re constantly told that eating well and exercising is the key to improving our mental health, but when your mental health is already poor, it’s not that easy.
To be honest I can’t say I’ve ever liked exercising – I used to skip PE at school and would always rather take a taxi.
But, I do genuinely think that my mental health has a direct impact on my physical health in terms of fitness and my diet.
Some days I feel completely zapped of energy before I’ve even got out of bed, so the last thing I feel like doing is going for a jog.
I have an unhealthy relationship with food and emotions too. When I’m feeling a bit low, I’ll eat rubbish. But if something really bad happens in my life, I’ll forget to eat at all for days.
I wouldn’t say I’m a yo-yo dieter. Just that I lack motivation.
Every couple of months I feel really inspired to get fit and healthy and I go in all guns blazing for a few weeks or months. Then, I’ll fall off the wagon and once I’m off it’s hard to get back on.
It’s a catch 22 with my physical health too. I need to exercise more to look after my heart and strengthen my back, but all the surgery I’ve had last year makes exercising so much more difficult and painful!
Eating clean is not a concept I like either; I just love cheesy chips AND burgers AND chocolate AND pizza… AND every other food in the world that’s bad for me.
I’ve decided this morning though that enough is really enough this time.
Honestly, I don’t feel very healthy in myself and I don’t like the way I look at the minute at all. But, the only person that can do anything about it is me!
I really need to try and find the motivation because I know that ultimately, getting fitter and eating better will have a positive impact on my mental and physical health.
There does need to be a bit more understanding though that telling someone to just “go for a run and you’ll feel better” isn’t very helpful and it isn’t very easy sometimes either.
But anyway, today marks a new change and I do feel very determined.
I’ll probably post a few updates on this but I’d love to hear if anyone else has similar struggles!